Have you ever been told to “have a better mindset?” As a chronic worrier with a tendency toward worst-case scenario thoughts (when traveling I obsess over what I may have forgotten and then feel certain that my bags will be lost anyway) many well-meaning people encouraged me to change my mindset. But I struggled with how to change it, my mindset felt like part of my genetic makeup, akin to my wavy hair and weak teeth. Encouragement to “look on the bright side,” and be more positive and optimistic fell flat. I like my snarky sarcastic nature, if not my unruly hair or soft teeth.
All this is to say, I had a pretty bad mindset about mindset until I discovered the work of Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck. Dweck literally wrote the book on the topic (and yes, it’s called Mindset). She contends there is more to mindset than an optimistic attitude. In fact she describes two kind of mindsets, not positive and negative, fixed and growth.
According to Dweck, in a fixed mindset, “people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits.” Whereas in a growth mindset, “people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.” It’s no surprise that people with a growth mindset are more accomplished and successful than those with a fixed mindset. It turns out that thinking we can grow, learn and adapt, often results in us being able to do just that.
Considering mindset as fixed versus growth changes everything. It not only removes good/bad and positive/negative from the equation but it challenges the way we encourage each other. Dweck recommends praise for hard work, instead of compliments based on talent alone, as one way to foster a growth mindset in others. Hard work may be it’s own reward, but hard work acknowledged by other is even better.
So what does this new understanding of mindset mean for military spouses? As people that move frequently and are forced to find new jobs, social outlets and community resources mustn’t we already have the coveted growth mindset? Not necessarily. Dweck offers a mindset test on her website (mindsetonline.com) which I took a few weeks into our first overseas PCS. The results showed that I lean toward a fixed mindset.
I can’t say that this is a surprise. While I genuinely viewed our move overseas as an adventure, shortly after landing in our new home I began to compile a list of the things I couldn’t do: understand the monetary conversion, drive, decipher the accents, figure out the people, find my way around, and on and on. Rather than consider what I could do to learn these skills (create a cheat sheet for money conversion, study a map) I felt doomed to two years as an outsider.
I am sure I am not the only military spouse to have felt this way. But it turns out that we don’t have to. There is a way to change your mindset. In her book and online Dweck provides a practical roadmap for moving from a fixed to growth mindset. Her emphasis is on voices and choices, a freeing opportunity to take the focus off our circumstances (like PCSing) and consider our potential for growth.
Unlike the little engine who could my manta will probably never be “I think I can, I think I can,” but with my new understanding of mindset I realize it only needs to be “I think I can learn to.” And that’s a change in mindset that I can handle.
All this is to say, I had a pretty bad mindset about mindset until I discovered the work of Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck. Dweck literally wrote the book on the topic (and yes, it’s called Mindset). She contends there is more to mindset than an optimistic attitude. In fact she describes two kind of mindsets, not positive and negative, fixed and growth.
According to Dweck, in a fixed mindset, “people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits.” Whereas in a growth mindset, “people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.” It’s no surprise that people with a growth mindset are more accomplished and successful than those with a fixed mindset. It turns out that thinking we can grow, learn and adapt, often results in us being able to do just that.
Considering mindset as fixed versus growth changes everything. It not only removes good/bad and positive/negative from the equation but it challenges the way we encourage each other. Dweck recommends praise for hard work, instead of compliments based on talent alone, as one way to foster a growth mindset in others. Hard work may be it’s own reward, but hard work acknowledged by other is even better.
So what does this new understanding of mindset mean for military spouses? As people that move frequently and are forced to find new jobs, social outlets and community resources mustn’t we already have the coveted growth mindset? Not necessarily. Dweck offers a mindset test on her website (mindsetonline.com) which I took a few weeks into our first overseas PCS. The results showed that I lean toward a fixed mindset.
I can’t say that this is a surprise. While I genuinely viewed our move overseas as an adventure, shortly after landing in our new home I began to compile a list of the things I couldn’t do: understand the monetary conversion, drive, decipher the accents, figure out the people, find my way around, and on and on. Rather than consider what I could do to learn these skills (create a cheat sheet for money conversion, study a map) I felt doomed to two years as an outsider.
I am sure I am not the only military spouse to have felt this way. But it turns out that we don’t have to. There is a way to change your mindset. In her book and online Dweck provides a practical roadmap for moving from a fixed to growth mindset. Her emphasis is on voices and choices, a freeing opportunity to take the focus off our circumstances (like PCSing) and consider our potential for growth.
Unlike the little engine who could my manta will probably never be “I think I can, I think I can,” but with my new understanding of mindset I realize it only needs to be “I think I can learn to.” And that’s a change in mindset that I can handle.